So do I write about the fun parts of the zoo today, that time we watched baboons lounging in the sun like nobody's business, or when the rhinos were playfully running in circles while we sat watching them eating our lunch? I could write about how Shira cautiously dipped her toes in the water at the splash pad while Alyce launched her whole self into a waterfall. I could write about so many things because they are all true.
But what I should write about, in an attempt to be honest with myself, is how all I wanted to do while we were at the zoo was go home. My body ached. I was exhausted. I couldn't enjoy my favourite animals or the cool, shady forests because I was hurting. I cut our trip a little short and headed home for a nap. I turned on a movie for the girlies and went straight to bed. I awoke two hours later to two children happily making me homemade jewelry and the house in a relative state of clean. Sometimes they are just awesome.
I've needed a nap almost every day this summer. My body aches all the time. I'm grumpy. Clearly things aren't going the way I had planned. But am I surprised? No. Change is hard and I'm a reluctant changer. I've been ignoring my goals in favour of doing nothing, because nothing is a lot easier. But these last two weeks have reminded me that I'm here to make a difference in my own health this year. I'm going to be selfish and focused and, hopefully, a woman who needs fewer naps.
I was sad today. My health stood in the way of having a great time with my children, made it hard for me to keep up with their excitement and desire to explore. It sucked.
So here is me sending out high-fives to anyone else who wants to make changes in their world. We can do this.